Humanity

I've made a lot of stupid little mistakes in my life.  I call them "stupid little" mistakes because there has never been a point in my life where I have not been trying my absolute hardest to do what is right.  Even when I've made mistakes that are more of the level of "Good Heavens! Is that girl ever going to get anything right?!?" I've been trying my hardest to do EXACTLY that.  Sometimes, my priorities aren't the priorities that other people have.  Being financially responsible and avoiding debt is hugely important.  I get that, I'm working on it, I always have been working on it, and I'm never going to stop working on it.  (This isn't meant to be pointed at anyone, anywhere, it's just a for instance) Stuff just keeps happening and making me look like a bigger disorganized mess than I am.   It sucks fishface.  There seem to be two different types of people in life.  Builders and Destroyers.  We're just people, so sometimes Builders destroy and Destroyers build.  Builders are those people who lift others.  Who bring light to the world and encourage people to be stronger and more true to themselves and their beliefs.  They don't always know it, in fact, it seems that the greatest Builders never do find out just how many lives they change.  Builders leave permanent good behind them.  They may be poor and struggling.  They may have difficulties with relationships, or health problems that consistently make accomplishing their goals harder than it may otherwise be.  Chances are good that when you see a Builder, you will never know the deep hurts they've had to overcome in their lives because they are too busy trying to leave light for others.  I love Builders.  There are others, and they may even be basically good people, who are Destroyers.  A good person can be a Destroyer when they focus too hard on things that don't really matter.  Sometimes they feel like it's their duty in life to make sure that everyone is well aware of their failures so that they can become better people.  Duty Destroyers are horribly frustrating.  I mean, how can you be properly angry at someone you know is only hurting to "help"?  Some people are Destroyers out of insecurity, envy, fear, out of blindly imitating patterns they've seen their whole lives.  Even knowing that Destroyers are people, too, and have their own pains and struggles, it's hard for me to accept the idea that tearing down is justified, harmless, deserved, whatever.  One thing that really sucks, though, about the Destroyer mentality, is that the people most hurt by it, don't usually deserve it.   Those few who really are bad parents, lazy, selfish, greedy, abusive, etc.  generally couldn't care less about the stones lobbed by the Destroyers.   Builders, though, Builders often care so much about people, that these negative sentiments, however innocently expressed, knock them right off their foundations for awhile.  No one is always running at peak performance and no one can always shrug everything off.  A person can succeed in millions of ways, but is it really worth it if that person then makes someone else's life harder to live? I've always tried, (often failed, but always tried) to follow the examples of some of the most wonderful Builders I've been blessed to have in my life.  My determination gets ever stronger every time someone I love has been knocked back in their lives because someone feels they have the right to be a Destroyer.  I may sometimes appear to be a clumsy idiot, but at least I can do my best to make sure that I'm not contributing to someone else's battles.